What They Aren't Saying
by Lianna-snow
Summary: They have always had each other's back, but they never could face each other's feelings. starts after knockout, in the hospital. nothing explicit, mostly reflections and decisions. my first try at angst so please give it a try.


What They Aren't Saying

Hello everyone:) this is my go at a bit of angst. I am trying out a few genres thanks to one of my close friends, midori emmi, who encouraged me to try new things:) and my other good friend, FHW, who inspired me with her angsty side.:)

They may never read this, but if they somehow stumble on this here... well, tell me what you think^^

Other than that, I just wanna say I really enjoyed writing this. And if it's a little angsty, you always could go visit my other story, Rewind, Remix, Replay. It's slightly less angsty.. But it's AU. (appologies for the self advert.) I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing this.

Mistakes (if they are any) are all mine.

Disclaimer- I don't own them:( but I do own a computer so feel free to review and let me know what you think!

Pairing- Caskett:)

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He had never seen her cry before. She was always the strong one. The one who pulled them through every struggle. When everything went wrong, she would always stand by him. She saved his life countless of times, when he thought life had no meaning, she would suddenly come around and make him see the light. Even if she never knew that, she made him want to carry on, unconsciously. She never gave up on anything, instead, any difficulties just made her fight harder to win. He almost went crazy for leaving her that summer. And he would probably die if he had to do it again. He would never dare to thank her. He never knew that he may never get the chance until he lost her. Her heart had stopped beating for a second from that gunshot and he had almost given up trying to save her. What kind of thanks was that? She never complained. Even if she had to do all the grunt work. She never asked for a break, until she broke herself.

Never had he ever met such a brave and deserving person who had the heavens as her limit.

She never saw him cry like that before. He always made her smile, no matter what happened. He was unconsciously her hero, her shining white knight. And having him not know that made him all the more irresistible. She nearly died of regret when he left that summer. He would always draw her out of the dark shell she crawled into, hoping to hide from the night, but he put his hand out and taught her, why fear the night, when you can see the light of day?and when her world crashes down on her, he would be the one standing right next to her. She wanted to thank him, but she never found the courage to do so. But who was she to blame time when she never even tried. She knew she would probably die if he left her again. She never knew how little time she had until she had almost lost him. She saw him tied up in that chair with ligature marks on his neck and nearly gave up trying to save him. What kind of thanks was that? He always knew when she was down and silently comforted her. He never asked for money or credit when he helped to solve all the difficult crimes.

Never had she ever met someone who was so perfect that the skies were no limit to him.

They were always so perfect for each other and they never knew. They stood by each other in times of darkness and despair and they never knew. They took their time with the other and hurt themselves in the process and they never knew. They risked their lives for each other and never knew. They would die for the other and they never knew. Their lives were connected forever and they never knew. Their hearts and minds were always in sync and they never knew. They would get jealous at the mention of the other having another and they never knew. Their faces would light up at the mention of the other and they never knew. They always have each other's back and they never knew. They knew more about the other than they knew themselves and they never finish each other's sentences and they never knew. They were partners and they never knew.

They loved each other and they never knew.

She chose him to be her 'one'; He chose her to be his 'done'. She almost said she loved him and He said he loved her. She fell in love with his family and he fell in love with her past. She never wanted to live without him and he would die without her. She loved his head, he loved her heart. She shopped with his daughter and he played poker with her father. She lost her mother, he never knew his father. He knew when to stay silent for comfort, she knew when to talk to cheer him up. Her heart beats for him and his heart beats because of her. She loved that he never gave up, he loved that she never gave in. She loved his eyes, he loved her smile. His life would be empty without her and her life wouldn't be colorful without him.

She fell in love with him and he never stopped loving her.

"Kate. Please wake up. It's been nine days and everyone has been so worried." Castle pressed a kiss to her temple and stepped back quietly.

The rest of them had all gone home to rest, after staying around for a few days, except him. Lanie had understood and helped out by coming around often to bring him some new clothes from Martha. He had promised to always stay by her side and he would keep it as if it was her last wish.

He couldn't let her go, not this time. He had lost so many chances with her but he didn't care. She needed him to be strong for her but he couldn't do it alone. They were partners, after all. They lean on each other for support, and they always have an arm out, in case the other slips. Whether they knew it or not.

"You gotta give us a sign Kate. The doctors want to give up, but I won't. Just...please give me a sign that you're still here; that you're still fighting... " he trailed off in silence as a small tear trekked it's way down his cheek and dropped onto her lips.

Voices were spinning endlessly in her head. Everything was a bleak shade of grey, though she somehow figured that she was in the hospital. The sniper…

Her dad, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny, Alexis, Martha and Rick were talking to her. She couldn't hear the full conversation but apparently they were giving up on her. She wanted to reach out to them, tell them that she didn't want to go, but she couldn't stretch herself anymore. She'd finally reached her limit.

She could suddenly feel her life slipping through her, all her bodily fears and pains seemed to slowly drain away. She knew that once the pain ended, so would she. She could see one by one, all the people standing by her bedside, leave. Everyone but him. He looked so sad and desolate. She wanted so badly to run over to Him and stop his pain. Even if she would never get to thank him when she was alive, she was willing to die again if it meant he would never hurt again. Never cry again.

She saw her mother step in front of the image of Castle, and smile sadly.

"Katie, your time here is almost up. You will be giving up everything about this life if you want to come. Are you sure you want to leave? You still have a chance to go back and finish what you need to do. It's not your time yet but if you really want to come, you can."

Her heart ached all the more and she felt the pain surge through her numb body. She made a decision right then and there, and used the last of all she had to fight and scream "NO! I don't wanna leave yet! Mom,please let me stay!"

Just then,as she felt her last bit of feeling drift away, a teardrop dripped onto her dry lips. It felt like...life. She knew then and there that she wasn't leaving.

She forced her eyes to flicker open and her motionless tongue to shout "Rick!" Although it came out as a soft, hoarse whisper, she knew he heard it, because he turned around slowly.

"Kate?" He could barely say her name. He looked as if he saw a ghost.

"I'm here." she choked out, feeling happy tears run down her face as she broke into a grin.

Rick was so stunned he could barely move his muscles. Was he dreaming? One moment she was gone, the next she had come back to him. She hadn't given up.

He suddenly leapt forward and pressed his lips to hers in a frenzied kiss that spoke much more than he could express at that moment. She, surprised and happy, did all she could to return it. Her hands slipped up his back and ran her hands through his hair. Her heartbeat rate quickened and it was quite obvious because the machine began beeping, much to her annoyance and embarrassment. The kiss was broken as fast as it started as Rick decided to run and get the doctors.

Leaving a very happy Katherine Beckett squealing like a fangirl in ecstasy.

All was well, except that they hadn't told each other yet.

Two months later,

Rick and Kate were sitting in the darkness of his room, watching some late night TV programs. She was curled up in his arms and he was cradling her head.

"Thank you Rick." She finally said it.

Even though it was so soft that if her mouth wasnt near his ear, he may not have heard it. "For being my support when I needed it. For standing with me, always. For loving me when I pushed you away. For waiting to be my 'one and done'." She sighed when she finished.

She wasn't sure how he would react, they had only been going out for a few weeks; but she couldnt finish doubting herself for the moment she looked down, he caught her chin and tilted it up so he was gazing into her eyes.

"Thank YOU Kate. For being just you. For being my whole world when the world didn't believe me. For loving me even though I hurt you. For being able to kiss me and make me forget everything-" He didn't get to finish because Kate pushed her mouth fiercely against his.

"Stop gloating with your writer skills. There's a reason why you're the writer and I'm the cop." she said once they pulled away and snuggled back down together.

"I love you." and I'll never stop.

"I love you too." and you'll always be my one and only.

They didn't need to speak about their differences. They shared enough with each other to know what the other meant and what they aren't saying.

Thank you for reading:)

For those who are reading RRR, don't worry, I'm gonna update that soon!

To readers:

Since I wrote this is a matter of hours, please spare a few seconds/minutes to tell me what you think. It really encourages me to write more.

To everybody:

Have a great week

And have some candy while waiting for season 4 to come out. *hands out sweets to all readers*

~LiannaSnow~


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